worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
