Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
