I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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