Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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