I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
