I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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