Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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