We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
