Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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