I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize