At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
