Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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