he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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