I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you had me at cake vodka
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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