Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
