She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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