sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm like, not good at living.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
