I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize