we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
