You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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