I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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