I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
