There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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