Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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