guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
