if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
