Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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