somebody snuck up and got me drunk
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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