4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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