We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
