You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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