How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He? As in you personified your dick?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
