Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
