I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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