i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
