I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
