no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
