Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
