so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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