actually, I'm a sock model
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize