Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
