He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
