12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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