I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
