I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
