Got a toothbrush?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
