When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
