remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
