wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
