Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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