I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
