Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
