Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
