he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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