My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
