Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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