they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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