i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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