how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
