you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
